How to Feel Again – A Journey Back to Your Heart

Why Feeling Matters

In one of my last articles, I wrote about how essential it is to feel — truly feel.

To reconnect with your inner world, which in turn allows you to connect deeply with others.

Today, we have endless ways to communicate — emails, WhatsApp, social media, dating apps — and yet, genuine connection often feels more distant than ever.

Yesterday, over dinner at the Buddhist Institute where I currently live and work, one of the long-term residents shared stories from his past: cycling trips across Europe, baking bread, even volunteering in a naturist community hidden in rural France. I asked him how he had discovered all these places before the age of Google.

He smiled and said: “Kathrin, back then we talked to each other.”

That simple sentence stayed with me. We used to listen — to others, but also to ourselves.

We followed intuition, trusted our inner compass, and knew, without searching, what felt right.

For me, being connected with our inner world — including our feelings — is the foundation for guidance. It helps us align heart and mind so that life feels meaningful rather than confusing.

It helps us trust: Even if the path ahead is blurry, I know I’m walking the one meant for me.

And even when obstacles or painful memories arise, we begin to see them not as punishment, but as teachers — opportunities to grow.

But how do we get there?

How do we reconnect when we’ve numbed our emotions, boxed them away, and buried them deep in the basements of our being?

You’ve probably heard it before — from therapists, from Jung, from countless self-help books: “Feel your feelings — integrate them, give them space and appreciation, and let them move through you without being carried away by them.”

But the big question is: how?

Many people, myself included, have discovered that feeling can be surprisingly difficult.Joy, anger, jealousy — yes, those we know. But when life becomes too fast or too heavy, we often slide into a quiet numbness — not peaceful awareness, but gentle disconnection.

Why Feeling Is So Necessary — and So Healing

Most people believe that only big traumas — an accident, a death, a major loss — shape our emotional world. In truth, even small experiences can leave deep traces: a rejection from someone we loved, a harsh word in childhood, a moment we felt unseen or unworthy.

These moments quietly teach the body: “Feeling is unsafe.”

So we protect ourselves — by disconnecting. We stop feeling not because we are weak, but because we are wise enough to survive.

Until one day, something inside whispers: “I want to live fully again."

Sometimes, what we carry doesn’t even belong to us. It’s woven into our ancestral stories — emotions silently passed through generations.

All these layers can make feeling difficult — but not impossible.

So what helps us begin again?

The Decision to Feel

It starts with a choice:

“I want to feel. I want to discover my inner world. I’m curious about what I’ll find.”

If it’s just a should or a trendy idea, it won’t go far.

Feeling requires willingness, not pressure — gentle curiosity, not judgment.

The next step is understanding why we stopped feeling — which situations contribute to our emotional numbness and avoidance.

When Feeling Becomes Difficult

We often notice the disconnection through life itself:

• Strong triggers — when someone’s words or actions feel far bigger than the situation. Relationships, especially romantic ones, are powerful mirrors; they show us what still longs to be healed.

• Patterns at work — a boss who acts like a parent, and suddenly we’re reacting like the child we once were.

• Emotional numbness — achieving something meaningful or going through loss, and feeling… nothing.

• Avoidance — isolating ourselves not because solitude nourishes us, but because being seen feels unsafe.

  
  

As someone who is both introvert and extrovert, I’ve always loved solitude. But I learned that when I can be myself, set healthy boundaries, and truly care for my needs, I can also be with others — easily, joyfully, openly.

That understanding took years of inner work.

And sometimes, like on my Camino journey, my nervous system itself decided when it was time to release — when the heart finally cracked open.

The Art of Grieving

One of my deepest lessons was realizing that I had never truly learned how to grieve.

For years, life sent me messages — during a herbal course I drew a card: “It’s time to grieve.” In Dharamsala, a tarot reading echoed the same. Later, a family constellation pointed again to the same theme.

I thought: But I haven’t lost anyone close. What is there to grieve?

Slowly, I understood that grief isn’t only about death.

We grieve our old selves, dreams that never took shape, relationships that couldn’t unfold, jobs or versions of us we had to release.

When I was 19, someone I deeply loved took his own life. I cried for a week — then went back to “normal.” I even read Kübler-Ross and convinced myself I understood grief. 

And in a way, I did it — intellectually. But emotionally, I had skipped the feeling.

Now I know: grief is not just sorrow.

It is the gentle art of letting go — in peace and love.

It invites us to pause, to reflect on our lessons, and to be grateful for what life has shown us.

Grief is the heart’s way of creating space for new life — transforming pain into presence, loss into love, and endings into beginnings.

Coming Back to Life

Feeling — truly feeling — unites mind, body, and heart and allows ourselves to be truly alive.

It brings us back into the natural rhythm of life.

It allows the energy of the past to move and makes room for peace, compassion, and joy.

“What we feel, we can heal.”

The moment we allow ourselves to feel again — even the messy, uncomfortable parts — something inside begins to breathe again.

And that breath… is where freedom begins — the kind of freedom that allows the hidden diamond within us to shine and to be seen again.

Practical Ways to Feel Again

• Daily Check-In Ask yourself: How do I feel today?

  If words don’t come, tune into your body. Where do you sense warmth, tension, movement?

• Mindful Practices

  • Yin Yoga — softens the body and opens emotional channels.

  • Meditation —  especially mindfulness, loving-kindness, Vipassana, or analytical meditations focusing on forgiveness.

  • Breathwork — helps emotions move through the body.

• Journaling Find a quiet café, take a pen and ask: How am I really, really feeling today? Let the words flow. If nothing comes, write that — honesty is the beginning of feeling.

• Somatic & Therapeutic Support Family constellation, hypnotherapy, bodywork — or simply spending time with someone who can hold space with compassion. We don’t have to do this alone. The nervous system heals faster when it feels seen and safe. Therefore, we need someone else. Allow yourself to receive support.

• Creative Expression Painting, music, dancing, being in nature — all are languages of emotion beyond words. In Dharamsala, I once joined an art therapy class — what emerged on canvas was more honest than anything I could have written.

  
  

Opening the Heart Again

Let’s open our hearts again — to encounters, to life, to the full spectrum of being human.

Let’s dare to lay down our armor and breathe in every shade of experience

— to feel, to live, to celebrate.

Feeling is not the opposite of strength.

Actually it is strength — the courage to meet life exactly as it is.

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below — I’d love to hear from you.