Why Making Decisions Can Feel So Hard – and What I’m Learning from It

Not long ago, someone asked me what little quirks or “odd habits” I have. I thought for a moment — and honestly, nothing particularly strange came to mind. Except, perhaps, that I love to plan everything, to have routines, and to feel a certain sense of control.

But a few days later, as I found myself once again getting frustrated with… well, myself, I realized what currently challenges me the most: making decisions.

A while ago, I spontaneously booked a flight to Sicily — full of excitement, joy, and that beautiful rush of adventure. Three days later, the idea didn’t seem quite so brilliant anymore. And when I finally stood at the airport, past the security check, I seriously considered turning around and going home. I was scared.

Something similar happened again just recently. I had applied for a volunteering program — purely out of curiosity and the wish to gain new experiences, to work in a different environment, and to grow. When I got invited for an interview, I immediately started doubting everything. I wanted to cancel, hide under the blanket, and forget the whole idea — and yet, deep down, I knew this was exactly what I always say I want: to grow, to experience life fully, and to expand my comfort zone. And still… I doubt my decisions over and over again. I started reflecting on it why it's so hard for me and also for others to make a decision:

Maybe it’s because decisions confront us with uncertainty. When we make a choice, we open one door — and close others. That means we never truly know what awaits us behind the door we’ve chosen. Our minds love safety and predictability. They whisper, “If you don’t decide, nothing can go wrong.” But that’s exactly what keeps us stuck.

The brain reacts to uncertainty almost like it does to danger. It prefers to stay in a familiar yet unfulfilling situation rather than risk stepping into something new — even if that new thing might be better.

Often, it’s also the fear of making the wrong choice. Deep down, many of us carry a belief that says, “If I choose wrong, I’ll lose something.” This fear isn’t logical — it’s emotional. It often comes from past experiences where a choice led to pain, rejection, or criticism. When you grow up feeling that “being wrong” means being unsafe, your nervous system learns to avoid decisions altogether — even when it no longer needs to.

And then there’s the overwhelming number of options we face. We live in a world overflowing with choices — paths, people, places, careers, lifestyles. But the more options we have, the harder it becomes to choose. Psychologists call it the “paradox of choice” — more options often lead to less satisfaction. 

The real key isn’t finding the perfect choice — it’s finding inner clarity. 

When you know what truly matters to you, you no longer choose between possibilities — you choose for yourself.

There’s also this quiet conflict between head and heart. The mind knows what seems reasonable, but the heart whispers something entirely different. That inner tug-of-war can feel exhausting. Decision-making becomes easier when both parts are allowed to have a voice — when the mind can analyze, and the heart can feel. When the two align through mindfulness, journaling, or meditation, a sense of inner coherence emerges.

Then you just know — this is my path.

And maybe, deep down, what we fear most isn’t making the wrong choice, but losing something in the process. Every decision carries a yes — and many small no’s. We fear letting go of people, possibilities, versions of ourselves. But every conscious choice is an act of self-respect. You say yes to what truly calls you — and no to what no longer serves you.

For me, decisions have become a practice of awareness. I’ve learned to feel rather than overthink. To make them smaller when they seem too big.

To allow mistakes.

To trust the timing.

Sometimes, clarity doesn’t come before the choice — it comes after you’ve taken the first step.

When I feel stuck, I close my eyes and ask:

• How does Option A feel in my body?

• How about Option B? Light or heavy?

  
  

My body often answers more honestly than my thoughts do.

Writing helps too — often the truth appears between the lines.

And when things still feel unclear, maybe it just means the moment isn’t ripe yet.

What I have learned so far. There is never a bad decision, it's just an experience and opportunity to learn. Because in the end, every decision is an invitation: to grow, to trust, and to meet yourself more fully along the way.

🕯️ We choose not only with logic, but with the history written in our hearts.

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below — I’d love to hear from you.